Hate this body

I seriously hate my body.  Not only because of how it looks, but much more because of how it performs...or doesn't.

I weighed myself today.  201.6.  Give me a freaking break.  I have drastically cut my calories and added in a good amount of exercise and over 2 weeks I lose all of 2 pounds.  wow.  wonderful. 

 

I hate it.  I hate how I have been tired since I was 15.  I hate how I gain weight sooooo easily but can't lose it.  I hate how I am looking old and my face is sagging at the age of 34.  I hate how my belly is was larger than the rest of my body and the skin is so loose from 5 babies that even with all that fat in there it sags down super low.  I hate that I have moles.  I hate that my hair is still falling out and looks dull and drab.  I hate that my teeth are getting more crooked everyday even though I had braces.  I hate that I have developed an acne problem over the last year and a half.  I hate that I have eczema on my eyelids and other places.  I hate my skinny lips.  I hate that the whites of my eyes don't look white.  I hate that I am not flexible and never have been.  I hate that my body always feels old and achy and not strong.  I hate that I have hypertrophic scars on my belly from surgeries.  I hate that I also have one on my breast from a mole removal done by a butcher of a doctor.  I hate that I got my ears pierced at 13 and now one of my holes has closed up because my ears have never been able to handle earrings too well.  I hate my bad posture and aching back. 

 

I am really not happy that I haven't lost more than 2 pounds.  I know it has only been two weeks.  But it seems to me that everywhere I look people are dropping pounds like it is water.  They start a diet and lose 4 or 5 pounds right off the bat.  Not me.  Not my body.  It just LOVES being fat.

 

Well, I am sick of it.